Full-Term

*I have a two-year old who enjoys playing in her room by herself. It surprises me all the time, but it is true: she wants that alone-time in her room every day. All I have to do is accompany her upstairs ("up da stairs") to her room ("woom"), put on her Christmas music or "Peter & the Wolf", and leave her to mess about. She can easily spend an hour in there. It makes me feel guilty sometimes......but then I remember that it (being alone) is a skill, and it is something that will benefit her in the future. The last thing she needs is to be glued to me all day. (especially now that she has a major life-change coming up...becoming a sister, and, thus, not having me to herself..) And, when she gets tired of it, she just opens the door and joins me wherever I am. The point of this is the following: Ari is being such a darling and letting me sit here at the computer, checking my Mothering-websites and writing an entry.
(it´s just strange, because Ari is a very social toddler...she loves to be around people. but I guess even extroverts need some space every day...)

Update on Ari´s post-pacifier sleep-routine: she is still struggling to fall asleep. However, she now makes it through the night without waking up and whining to get out of bed. So, it´s just a matter of smoothing over the falling-asleep process. Let´s hope she´ll improve that before Baby-Zus gets here. Because, really, it is annoying. We liked it when Ari used to point at her bed and lay down with a smile. We would like that back.... now.

I am 38 weeks pregnant & plump. It´s finally getting hard to tie my shoe-laces. I can still do it, but it´s not as easy as before. Getting out of bed is also more of a task, but I usually do so way too quickly and carelessly, giving myself a cramp or back-ache. I guess I just forget that I am pregnant..... or I forget that it means I need to slow down, anyway.

Nesting is such a powerful instinct. I mean that. It can turn a sloth into a bee, or ant, or some other diligent animal. You get my point. I´ve been vacuuming, moving stuff around, rearranging the medicine/bath-cabinet, washing&ironing, and thinking of the-next-thing.

The awkward phase of pregnancy has commenced. Awkward, because Baby-Zus can come whenever she wants. I am full-term. In fact, she could have already been here. I´m reminded of waiting for Ari, two years ago, in the same month..... walking around in Holland, just waiting, and wondering when she was going to come around. In the end, she made me wait a little extra. So, part of me knows that I shouldn´t expect an early arrival of this baby, either. But it´s inevitable: I can´t help but get antsy. I am so curious about this child, and so eager to see how she will change our lives.
I´ve packed the hospital-bag. In fact, when we went to Ryan&Jessica´s reception the other day, we put it in the back of the car....just in case. If I had actually participated in the dancing, Baby may have decided to become a Toledo-an (Toledana????). Alas, nothing happened. Not even a hint of anything. It was just me and my big belly, driving home & stopping for my first police-control (having to blow into the machine long enough for it to prove that I had not taken a drop of alcohol).

Having said that, the thought of labor makes me a little nervous. More than a little, in fact. Partly, because I know how much it hurts. It is scary when you don´t have a reference point, but in a way it is even more terrifying when you know what you´re headed toward. Nevertheless, I was blessed with a very quick first delivery, so the chances are that this one will be faster still... But it´s going to be rough. I will struggle. I will feel that desperation of "this isn´t going to work, she´s not going to come out!!" again. It will be hard to remember to breathe.
But there are the unknowns, too.... The unknowns of delivering in the Spanish system, under the guidance of whichever OBGYN or midwife happens to be on duty. I have met with different ones all throughout the pregnancy... never once returning to see the same face. And knowing that my only option for medical pain-relief is the epidural: something I plan to avoid. In Holland, I was blessed to have a very mild medication available to me: the newest thing on the market, which is now requested by many women in labor. Here, it will either be the epidural or nothing. And nothing can be a bit intimidating. I remember how the pain surprised me.... how it was more than I expected... I wasn´t much of a hero, once those mean contractions kicked in.
So, I am a little worried that I will feel tempted...tempted to ask for the epidural (with all that it entails), despite my reservations.

Now that I have that part- the pessimism- out of the way, I can say that I am a bit encouraged to know that a baby can indeed come out of there quite quickly :-) Also, I have asked Daniel for specific support this time: I´ve asked him to remind me to keep my thoughts on the goal- to direct me to think about the baby.. He did a good job last time: first, he told me I needed to keep breathing, and then he showed me how. He was very supportive: even as he ate an apple-turnover right in front of me whilst I was sighing through contractions.

I will keep you posted these days, as I have Braxton-Hicks contractions, mild and severe.... You can wait right along with me..... remind me not to get impatient. You can say, "Eef, it´s going to be a while.. hold your horses!"
Better yet, you can cast your vote: you can make your prediction of the delivery-date. Here are your facts: Keep in mind, my official due-date is Dec.14th. Ari´s birthday is the 17th (she was born 12 days after the due-date). So, what are your thoughts?? Daniel and I like the 12th of the 12th, but that happens to be the day we plan to throw Ari her birthday-party, so it´s not ideal :-) Please, not Christmas. Don´t throw that idea into the universe!

The winner will get............................ well, kudos. No naming-rights, or anything.