If I were you........

Advice is a tricky thing. I´ve been asking for a lot of advice lately (due to the fact that our life has been a bit chaotic lately), and others have asked me for advice more frequently than usual, and I am not sure where I stand on this issue.

(on the issue of advice, that is).

I´ve relied on advice very much. In fact, sometimes I seem incapable of making a decision without having previously asked for advice from family members or friends. Or without, at least, having heard the opinion of someone else. But how much is it really worth?

The reason I question the value of advice is, simply, because people so often end up doing what they were pre-programmed to do, anyway. We hear what we want to hear, don´t we? And once we´ve heard something, we have our own thoughts to reckon with.

That´s a bit simplistic, I guess, and I know that advice serves a purpose. But, how can anyone say, "If I were you, I´d...."? The more I hear or say it, the more ridiculous it seems.
I can say a few things about marriage, having been married for about 4 years. I can say a couple of things about motherhood, too, because I have 2 kids. But I can only say things that apply to my situation. As soon as these issues concern another person (i.e. someone unmarried, someone who has just become a parent), my advice is as irrelevant as the advice of a non-parent, or a single person.

What works for me might not work for someone else. And vice versa. Still, I am so quick to give my opinion. So eager to say, "why don´t you try to do this?, or "you should just do that". I´m so interested in other people´s lives & opinions, that I forget (just for a moment, anyway) that I will eventually base my decisions on my particular personality, impulses, situation, and predisposition, and NOT on what others have done, or "would" do.

Of course, advice doesn´t have to be so specific. To me, advice just ends up adding issues to my lists of "pros and cons". I look at advice differently now. Every now and then, people say something that is actually helpful and practical (usually the people who know me best & have more of a right to say,"if I were you"), but in the end we do things our own way, whether we intend to, or not.

All I am saying is that I´m going to try not to give advice so quickly. We can swap ideas with other people, but it´s mainly just a matter of listening to others, and saying, "that´s interesting....... have you considered this, or that?" and little more.