When it Rains it Pours

(literally and figuratively!)

Yesterday stank. Some days just do.

It seems strange to be writing a "normal" post before even posting the biggie, the Birth Story. I have been working on it, a bit, off and on. It´s not going to be very polished, because I´m so obsessed with remembering the details. This is why my entries tend to be on the long side.... and, frankly, I do it for myself. You read it, but I really post most of the things I post for myself: to remember the "stuff" that my days are made of.

Thus, you shall soon read all about my birthing-experience here (or not....). It will be posted, eventually. It´s strange to be relying on my own vague memories of the ordeal & on Daniel´s account of the event. I have a video of Ari´s birth.... strange as it is to relive that experience, it serves my memory primarily, and I love having access to it. The details start to fade, even after a week, and I want so much to remember it.
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Back to more recent events... These days have been relatively calm and quiet, all things considering. Anika is such a calm baby. I´m almost hesitant to speak that into the universe, because it might change.... but, so far, we have been blessed with a child who sleeps and eats by the book. It means that we still have most of the day to do as we used to: entertain Ari, cook, watch movies (when Ari´s sleeping). I count myself very lucky indeed.

Yesterday, however, was dreadful. We had to go to the medical clinic for Anika to get her second heel prick test. Now, in Spain, this requires that the baby be "en ayunas" (fasting) for an hour and a half prior to the pinch. I don´t remember that from Ari´s experience.
I tried to plan for this, but as most mothers would know, that is not entirely possible with a nursing newborn. Anika is fed on demand, and I can´t force her to eat on a schedule. So, I tried to feed her an hour and a half before the appointment, so that she would be full and alright..
well, in vain, of course. Anika did not feel the need to eat at all. So, we drove to the clinic with a SCREAMING baby. She cried and I cried almost as much. I did. Call me dramatic or oversensitive....whatever. I held her and felt so helpless: I knew that I could put an end to the crying instantly, but was forced to let her wait. Ah. It made me so mad at the system: again.. I am always mad at "the system"! I was like, "how could they expect this??? what´s wrong with them?" But, according to the nurse, it was crucial that Anika be empty-stomached for the test-results.
And, since we are in the land of "later", we had to wait past our appointment-time. That made me even more upset. And then there was a couple of junkies, and the woman came over to see Anika... and that made me nervous, because I get so overprotective when it comes to my children. Don´t we all??? I felt bad for being politically incorrect, or paranoid, or whatever I was... Finally, it was our turn, and Anika was still screaming.... She had to be pinched not once, but twice, because the nurse couldn´t get enough blood out of her tiny heels. She started to cry, and then.....that AWFUL silence: the minute of airless and soundless screaming that preceeds the real thing: the screeching. Tears were rolling down Anika´s cheeks, and I felt so so sad for her... Not just because she was in pain (the nurse was trying to squeeze the blood out), but because she was STILL hungry. And then I had to undress her for the weighing and measuring.

It must have been Anika´s hardest day yet. But then I nursed her, right there in the doctor´s office....and everything got a little better. At least...until we had to walk through the rain to get back to our car.

I was so stressed out... Daniel & Ari went to the grocery-store in the meantime. They were stressed out, too.

Well, we got home, and everyone tried to get over it. Anika went right back to sleep (as she does all day), and the rest of us had supper and chilled.

All is well here. We are so glad to be together: the four of us. Now it really feels like a family. I know.... we were a family before, too. But Anika has made it all even more beautiful. She fits perfectly.

Happy New Year, folks!

p.s. I have SO enjoyed the (real) rain.