The sting of parenting...

(or is this just another empty-glass version of it?)

Lately, I´ve been thinking of parenthood; beauties and difficulties, the whole lovely mess of it. (clearly, I´ve hardly done anything else since Ari´s birth....considering the issue permeates this blog)

Well, I´ve noticed a trend, and I think it all comes down to this:
the sting of parenting, for me, is the continual shifting from hopefulness to disillusionment. Wow, that sounds negative. Let me explain:

1)Hopefulness: just that. Hopes for a bright future, blah bluh blah. It must, inherently, be a hope for universal betterment, or something. Our children are the future. It´s a cliché for a reason: this has been the idea throughout the centuries, hasn´t it?
Thus, our children come into the world, and we place a huge burden (unwittingly & subconsciously, perhaps, at first) on them. They seem perfect, and we convince ourselves that it is up to us to make them the best of their kind. Of our kind. To instill in them all the values that we strive to cultivate in ourselves, or to teach them what we hoped to learn for ourselves...

Then, as the months go by, and the children become just a little less perfect, we all take a tumble. We all fall from Grace- just a little. And then, suddenly, we´re here:
2) Disillusionment: they weren´t supposed to turn out like this. We were going to be better examples, we were going to make this world a better place. indirectly. through those little ones.

Maybe I´m a little insane. Everyone knows, going into it, that it´s going to be virtually impossible to really raise perfect social beings. Right? I knew it, but I expected more from myself. I expected to be a better model to my daughters. Slow to anger, paying attention to the important things, etc.. And then, when I see my failures through my daughter´s (mis-)behavior, I cringe a bit.

I wonder how other generations went about it. We (this generation of parents) seem to take it so seriously. We´ve become so introspective, and we (over-) analyze everything, including our parenting. Narcissism, I guess. We give ourselves all the credit for the good and the bad. Probably a flawed perspective. Again. Agh. I want to live by the Proverbs. Really. I´ve found so much practical knowledge in the Proverbs, and in what the Dutch refer to as "tegeltjeswijsheid" (try pronouncing that! HA! That´s not even close to the longest Dutch word) basically, "tile-wisdom". The quotations you find on printed tiles.... My dad uses them in conversation all the time, and it´s so helpful. Basic little rules of "sensible living". In the tradition of "Early to bed, early to rise...." It´s silly of me, but I always find that just reciting these (common sense) sayings helps return me to the real world, and to the task at hand. Which is, of course, just doing the best I can, and helping my kids learn the basic principles of responsible living & altruism, etc.