P.a.v.o.r N*octurnus

Ari had her first panic attack (in her sleep) half an hour ago. It disturbed me greatly, but I did some research and have come to understand that it is very common to children of her age.

Around midnight, I was watching the latest LOST-episodes with my friend (a valid reason to be up that late!) when I heard Ari fussing through the babyphone. I went upstairs and picked her up, offered her water, and turned on the dim light to try to see if something was the matter with her. Ari behaved so strangely: she turned her head, kicked her legs, pushed my face away, kept saying, "mamama," but she didn´t respond to me. I did the usual thing: I held her, sang to her softly, told her "mama´s here," "mama is bij jou," but she kept crying.. She didn´t say anything, but uttered "nnnnunnnunnnu," "uuuuhmm". Her eyes were wide open. It alarmed me. I wanted her to snap out of that- didn´t know what her matter was.
After a long while, she settled down. She asked me to read her the Pooh-book and had a drink of water. I asked her if she was tired and she responded in the affirmative (something that NEVER happens!).

I went back downstairs after the usual routine: "mama is turn off de yight," "vinderziek" (vlindermuziek/butterfly-music) and "mama is cose de doors".

Naturally, I headed straight for the computer. Wanted to find out how "normal" this was. Figured it must have just been a nightmare, but still, it was strange.

As it turns out, this fits the description of "pa(v)or nocturnus" perfectly. It is very common for young children to experience night-terrors: these panic attacks usually only last for about 15 minutes (Ari´s case, too, though it seemed an eternity!), and are very alarming to the parent. This happens at some point in the first 4 hours of the child´s sleep (again, Ari´s case), as opposed to nightmares, which typically occur in the second half of the night. Obviously, this has everything to do with sleep-cycles.

Other markers:
-during a night-terror, the child appears to be awake, but is actually asleep (so they do not respond or communicate).
-the child will not remember the drama by the time they wake up in the morning (whereas children do frequently recall nightmares).
-it is NOT effective to try to comfort the child: such an approach will be met with more kicking, pushing.... (again, because the child is asleep) Hence, the child may continue calling out, "mama, mama!", because (s)he is not aware that the parent is actually there, comforting her(him).
-the best thing for the parent to do (albeit difficult/heartbreaking) is to let this go on; to let the child get over it (as long as they´re not hurting themselves with the kicking, etc., of course.) Waking the child is not advisable in this situation.

This immediately made sense to me, because I noticed that Ari got more agitated as I tried to comfort her.

And, when I read the list of things that can induce these attacks, I was convinced that Ari´s drama was a classic case of Pavor Noctornus. Children are most likely to have an episode of this after a busy day; when they are overstimulated; when they haven´t rested enough; when their routine has been interrupted. Indeed, the dear did not nap today, and we didn´t come home until about half an hour before her bedtime. This was not a normal day for us, and Ari suffered the consequences. (thankfully, she´ll probably greet me with the usual chipper, "mogguh"(morgen/morning!), "Ari is wakker" (Ari´s awake) tomorrow).

So, it was reassuring to learn that this is perfectly normal for toddlers.... Also, I am even more convinced of the value of rest & routine. My parents often use that good old Dutch calvinist motto, "rust, reinheid, en regelmaat" ("rest, cleanliness, and routine/structure"). This is something I aim for in my daily life with the kids (yet fail so frequently!).

Hopefully, it won´t take another night-terror to remind me that my dears need these things!